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Late-seventeenth-century sexual self-help best-seller
þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg
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January 2011
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ever so slightly obsessed
Date: 2020-08-31 12:50
Subject: Blood, sex and rhetoric
Posted: Public
Tags:admin
Feel free to contact me here about anything at all. Anon posting is turned on and anon comments are screened.

--

If you know me in real life, that's cool. There's nothing here I mind you seeing, but if you look around enthusiastically enough, you may get squicked, and it'll be your own darn fault.

--

The username is from Diana Wynne Jones' book The Spellcoats, which I heartily recommend.

The username has changed! I am still me! The curious can find an explanation of where 'scien' came from in this post.
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ever so slightly obsessed
Date: 2011-01-12 23:14
Subject: *flail*
Posted: Public
So today I was hanging out with a few friends I'm pretty close to, and a bunch of other people who I've never spent much time with before. Eventually people started peeling off and I was left with one guy I know pretty well, and another two people who I didn't, but was happy to discover that they were excellent company. Whoo!

Our shrunken group had a final drink together, and then decided to have a burrito before heading off home. And then this happened, as we all plotted which burritos to have on our way there.

essentialism, woohooCollapse )

Ugh.

I am so tired of all this crap.

I wish we could all just be straightforwardly open, instead of trying to navigate this maze, carefully feeling everything out in advance, worrying about whether your hair or burrito eating preferences appropriately reflect what you want to indicate about your gender and sexual preferences. For fuck's sake. It's all such hard work. It makes no sense. I'm so bored of it.

I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but comments and anecdotes are very welcome.


Edit: for the record, I didn't mean this post to be about what I could have said at that one moment, or as a criticism of DudeIKnow, who is also a DudeILike. I'm having a bigger frustration with the whole setup of categorising everything in to Manly or Not, Queer or Not, etc. It's ridiculous that I have to worry about how people will perceive me based on how recently I've had a haircut or which ex I mention, and kind of heartbreaking that DudeIDon'tReallyKnow is scrutinising every little detail of burrito-eating preferences to see where he and the other guy in the room fit on a scale of 0 to Manly, and that in trying to get across that he doesn't need to do that the easiest thing for DudeIKnow to do was resort to a different set of criteria which also suck massively... *flail*, basically. None of this stuff should have anything to do with anything. But we have to walk around navigating it all the damn time, with the alternative often being feeling like you're living a lie. And sometimes I feel like I've had my fill already.
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ever so slightly obsessed
Date: 2010-06-01 23:20
Subject: Zomg a change
Posted: Public
Mood:pleased
Oh halp! I changed my icon!

I might still adjust it a little, but I'll see if I get used to it first.

You can stare at the full beauty of the original over here.

And maybe one day soon I will actually make a post. I only have about four draft ones that have been waiting for months. Oops.
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ever so slightly obsessed
Date: 2009-07-28 19:45
Subject: Period post!
Posted: Public
Tags:menstruation, silly
I am suffering from crampycrampycramps and feeling self indulgently icky. Anyone want to join me?

Tell me all about what brand of ickyness you suffer. I want to know all the gory details.

How does bleeding from the crotch feel to *you*?Collapse )
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ever so slightly obsessed
Date: 2009-07-25 19:14
Subject: Namechange!
Posted: Public
Tags:communication, language, livejournal
Because I know I always get confused when people do this: I have changed my LJ account name.

I originally created this account years ago when I wanted to make a post that absolutely should not be recognised by anyone I knew. And then after that was over with and deleted, it was a handy account to use when I wanted to join communities about naughty things that would merely embarrass me if anyone saw, and then four years and fifteen thousand comments later I found myself still using a username I had never liked, and cringing slightly whenever someone called me by it. I've been waiting for the right name to come along for a while and finally took the plunge.

So, new name: scien. It's short, it contains some of the same letters as my real name, it doesn't sound like a 14 year old girl trying desperately to be liked*, I'm happy.

* Note: I was never that 14 year old girl. I just registered an account that sounded like one. Sigh. Anyway.

I've also been on a 'looking things up in the OED' kick lately, just because I can. 'Scien' appears to be a variant spelling of 'sign': 'A gesture or motion of the hand, head, etc., serving to convey an intimation or to communicate some idea.'

Not bad eh? Although the only place I actually found this exact spelling used was in the context of one of the other definitions, 'A device borne on a banner, shield, etc.; a cognizance or badge'. Which is what a username is, really.

I don't know that it's perfect - lots of names I would have liked to have were taken. But I'm kind of relieved.

--

Speaking of names and labels. Something I've been finding interesting lately is the way some terms seem to take on a reality and strength of their own.

As an English student, along with the OED obsession I got it thoroughly pounded into my skull that words don't intrinsically 'mean' anything, but that the meaning of a word lies in the way it is used and understood, which can be a messy cloud of associations that varies by time and place. (You can point to a dictionary all you like - classifying words and usages as 'correct' or not based on their etymology and the whim of the editor went out of fashion with Johnson. Lexicographers these days see their job as following usage, not dictating it).

And intellectually, I understand that. But as a day to day shorthand, it is much easier to just get on with life under the assumption that the word 'sock' directly correlates to an actual 'sock'. In the case of a sock, that's probably a pretty safe assumption. But in some contexts this gets somewhat less accurate or helpful.

I already touched on this in my post about virginity, in which I talked about people treating virginity as though it was an 'either/or' status that actually existed, and with enough information we could divine which one they were. When in fact it's a term that is (self contradictingly) medical, technical, cultural and personal all rolled into one word.

The same sort of thing applies to other labelsCollapse )

Also I'm curious, dear readers, about what labels you choose to describe yourself with and why. I wonder if there is as much variation as I would expect. What considerations brought you to one word over another? Do they feel like a perfect fit, or an uneasy one?
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ever so slightly obsessed
Date: 2009-05-17 14:37
Subject: On relationships and ending them
Posted: Public
Tags:breakups, livejournal, relationships
A couple of days ago I had a bit of an epiphany about something small but (to me) significant.

People often complain that in advice communities we jump to "dump them" too quicklyCollapse )

So that was my spiel. What do you guys think? Am I completely nuts? Do you think breakups need a particular kind of reason to be permissable? What does commitment mean to you? Indulge my curiosity!
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ever so slightly obsessed
Date: 2009-05-12 01:14
Subject: Dreamwidth
Posted: Public
Tags:livejournal
So, I am on Dreamwidth, with the same username.

Is anyone else reading this there? I haven't done anything with my account yet, but please do say hi there so I can find you.

I haven't had a chance to really look yet, are there any sex positive/feminist/etc themed communities getting started?

Note: I am not jumping ship. I am here to stay. I'm just curious.
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ever so slightly obsessed
Date: 2009-05-04 16:52
Subject: Stoopid world
Posted: Public
Tags:bodies, the internet, the media
I seem to only get inspired towards social commentary when things really get up my nose. For anyone who finds this dull, I apologise.

In which I get annoyed about a bog standard TV adCollapse )

I think one of the reasons this annoyed me quite as much as it did was that it was in two completely unrelated places, neither of which (a comedy about a bookshop and an article on anger management skills) is somewhere where an ad about how much I need to lose weight seems particularly appropriate. I know it doesn't take much to achieve that kind of coverage, certainly for a company like Keloggs - this was either a global ad compaign, or doubleclick.net was serving up region-specific ads, which is very common and makes perfect sense. Heck, Channel 4 know my sex and age from when I signed up, I don't know if they target their ads but that too is possible.

But it kind of makes me feel like I'm up against something which is infinitely bigger, wealthier, and most likely cleverer than I am. And to avoid it entirely, I'd have to not consume any media that needs to support itself by ad revenue, which, forget being unenjoyable, is simply not feasible. There is something terribly disheartening about that.

I just feel like it shouldn't have to be an uphill battle to avoid this nonsense. Not seeing this sort of thing should be the norm. You shouldn't have to be constantly hyper aware and analytical to break these things down and avoid being affected as best you can. And given that wishes aren't horses, beggers aren't riding and we live in a world in which that is necessary, it seriously angers me that doing so and thinking about it is not at least seen as a major and essential part of child and young adult education.
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ever so slightly obsessed
Date: 2009-04-24 21:48
Subject: Five things about me meme
Posted: Public
Tags:livejournal
I usually have a mild dislike for memes. And even when I do think they're entertaining they're not usually relevant to this journal. But this one caught my eye.

The Five Things meme: you comment on this post and I'll tell you five of the things I closely associate with you, and you take those back to your journal and write about them. tacky_tramp gave me five things to write about.

My addition: I'd like it if you posted your answers in reply to my comment as well as in your journals, if you're comfortable doing so. I often run across posts like this and get intrigued by some of the lists my friends post for their other friends, but don't wish to dig around other people's (often locked) journals to find how they responded.

tacky_tramp gave me:
Advice
Sandman
Wisdom
Snark
Sex

Read more...Collapse )
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ever so slightly obsessed
Date: 2009-02-22 17:07
Subject: Today's rant is brought to you by the letter F
Posted: Public
Tags:foreplay, language, play
Okay so I was going to finish my writeup of stuff related to the book I read recently today, but I am instead going to interrupt the scheduled broadcast with a rant. I just want to tell the world: I CAN'T STAND THE TERM 'FOREPLAY'. PLEASE LET IT DIE OUT OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. Please.

But why?Collapse )

Grrrrr. I for one will thank you if you never use the word again without self conscious quote marks.
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